


Fifty Shades of Green

by Thee_tortilla



Category: John Green - Fandom, Shrek (Movies)
Genre: Highschool AU, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-29
Updated: 2020-09-29
Packaged: 2021-03-07 23:21:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,986
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26715925
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thee_tortilla/pseuds/Thee_tortilla
Summary: John Green’s a quirky highschool student, with a big crush on the schools most popular guy, shrek. Will Shrek fall in love with him, or will johns feeling stay unrequited.
Relationships: Shrek/John Green
Comments: 2
Kudos: 17





	Fifty Shades of Green

**Author's Note:**

> Just a psa there is a scene that contains adult ✨stuff✨ in chapter six, so if ya wanna read this but not that then just skip over like the middle of chapter six. Thank you.

Chapter 1  
I woke up to the sound of my little brother Hank yelling at me to wake up, I looked at my pokemon alarm clock, 7:00 am. Wow, I thought, first-day of junior year and it’s already off to a rough start. I dragged myself out of bed and put on the same pair of jeans I wear every day and my black zip-up hoodie. I looked at my picture of Gerard Way I have hung up above my bed. Oh, Gerard, I thought, you would make the junior year so much better. I kissed the picture and stumbled to the bathroom. I looked at my reflection in the mirror, my brown hair was messy as always, I decided not to brush it, as it wouldn’t do any help. I quickly brushed my teeth and went downstairs to the kitchen. I sat down at my place, ate a bite of toast and a sip of water before I looked at the time and realized that I was going to be late. I grabbed my bag and headed to my car. “Wait” my mom yelled “don’t forget your brother” Right, I thought, I have to drive my stupid little brother to middle school. “Hank, c’mon, we’re going to be late” I yelled “coming” he replied as he rushed down the stairs. I got in the driver’s seat of my run down, second-hand car, and turned on the ignition. Hank finally got in the car, and I sped off to school.

Chapter 2  
I trudged into the high school, my converse dragging as I walked through the halls looking for a familiar face. “Darla!” I shouted as I saw her “John!” she shouted back. Darla and I had been best friends since elementary school, I couldn’t imagine life without her. “Have you seen Shrek yet?” She asked “He totally glowed up over the summer” “Shrek,” I said “Where, do I look ok” I had been in love with Shrek since the fifth grade, but he would never date a loser like me. He was the captain of the football, and all I was was a nerd that hung out in the library. “Calm down,” Darla said, “I haven’t seen him yet today.” “Good,” I said, with a sigh of relief. “You know who I have seen, Donkey, he is looking hotter by the day!” I looked to my right and all of a sudden the room went still. There he was, standing at the doorway of the hallway, his green skin glowed in the fluorescent light, and his brown eyes sparkled. “There he is” I murmured. As he got closer I could hear his thick Scottish accent as he talked to his friends. There was donkey, he was one of Shreks closest friends and a huge player. Then there was puss and boots, he knew everything about everyone, that’s why his boots are so big, they're full of secrets. Then there's Fiona, the captain of the cheer team, it’s always been rumored that she and Shrek are together. Then there are the less important members like Artie, and Pinnochio, and the gingerbread man, they don't really matter. The only one I care about is Shrek. “John oh my god, there he is,” Darla said excitedly, “pretend like we’re talking” “ok,” I said nervously as Shrek got closer. Eventually, Shreks possy got to where we were standing. “Hey nerd,” Puss and boots said with his Spanish accent, he was looking me right in the eyes. “Shouldn’t you be at the library?” Donkey said as he kicked my books out of my arms. They all laughed, well all except Shrek. “That's not a very nice thing to do donkey,” Shrek said, his breath smelled of old fish and roasted garlic, and I let it blanket me. The only thing I could focus on was his enthralling Scottish accent. Was he really talking to me, did he really know I was there. “Fine, if that’s how it’s going to be Shrek then we’re going to class, you can hang out with these nerds,” Fiona said as they jontied off to class leaving Shrek behind with us. “I’m really sorry about them, they can be real jerks sometimes,” Shrek said as he leaned down to pick up my books. “Oh it’s all right” I answered quickly, snapping out of the trance he had put me under. I crouched down to help him with the books, I reached for a book, but Shrek reached for the same one, our hands touched each other, as we looked into each other’s eyes. I quickly took my hand away and stood up, Shrek handed me my last book. “Uh, thank you,” I said, “No problem” He replied “I’ll see you in class. 

Chapter 3  
I sat in math class, as the teacher droned on, the only thing I could focus on was Shreks voluptuous presence behind me. I could smell his breath behind me, it caused a sense of wonder to wash over me. I felt a tap on my shoulder, I glanced behind me, the person sitting behind me was handing me a note. I looked back and Shrek was smiling at me. I took the note and looked at it. “I’m really sorry, meet me behind underneath the bleachers at 3:30” I could feel my cheeks get flushed and my palms began to sweat. I looked back at Shrek, he looked up from his work and gave me a half-smile. 

Chapter 4  
It was 3:31 I stood behind the bleachers, where was Shrek? maybe he wasn’t coming. I bet it was just one of Fiona’s mean pranks again. Just as I was about to leave I hear a voice behind me. “So sorry I’m late” I turned around to see the owner of the Scottish accent, it was Shrek. His hair shined with grease and his skin with sweat, it was super sexy. he swaggered towards me slowly, “I guess you’re wondering why I ask you to meet me here”. “yeah” I stuttered, “I am”. He stepped closer to me and let his hand brush up against mine. “I’ve noticed you at the library, not many boys as cute as you like to read” he stepped even closer. “You-You think I’m cute?” I shuddered, my hands trembled. Shrek large muscular hands took my shaking ones. “Of course I do, your super cute” His big brown orbs enchanted me. “anyways I was wondering if maybe you’d want to come over and y’know study sometime” my heart skipped a beat and a sharply inhaled a breath. “you want me to come to your swamp”. Shrek rubbed my palm with his thumb. “Of course I do,” he said, staring into my green orbs. “Your really special john, your not like anyone else I’ve ever met before” i could feel my cheeks flush. “i’d, um, i’d love to” for a second the bleachers went away and it was just us. “great, i’ll meet you there at 8 tonight” he raised my hand up to his simple green mouth and planted a kiss on my knuckles. he turned around and walked away. i stood there for a second, in awe at what had just happened. after what felt like hours i turned and walked away from the bleachers. 

Chapter 5  
there was four hours until my date with shrek and i was at darla's house. “so what are you going to wear to the swamp tonight” she asked, looking down at my black hoodie and baggy jeans. “i was just going to wear this” i said. Darla chuckled “you're wearing that to SHREK'S SWAMP, are you CRAZY” she walked over to her closet and began rifling through her clothes. “no no no no no I am wearing my normal clothes and that’s that”. “no. your. not. i am going to give you a makeover!!!” she pulled out a pile of clothes from her closet “these will fit right?” she said. i sighed, once darla got her mind set on something she wasn’t going to stop. i tried on so many different outfits eventually she picked something that she likes on me and began to do my hair. she brushed it and gelled it down and then began to do my makeup. she put on more than i would ever wear. she put on mascara and eyeliner and a bright red lipstick. she looked at the finished project and brought me to her mirror. I looked almost as beautiful as fiona. “i don’t know how you did it darla” i said “now, your ready to go to his swamp”

chapter 6   
i stood outside the door to the tree root. i smelled the stench of swamp water, it reminded me of him and i let out a soft moan. I knocked on the door and waited. shrek opened the door and stood in awe at my new appearance. his brown orbs grew big with want. my brown hair flowed in the breeze. “come in” shrek suddenly after a long pause. “i cooked spaghetti for us and lit a fire.” I stepped into the ‘house’. the whole place smelled putrid and filthy, it really turned me on. “so we’re not going to study?” i giggled. Shrek just laughed. he took my coat and pulled my chair out for me to sit down. we began eating and talking. we talked for what felt like hours, who knew me and the most popular boy in school had so much in common, he even knew who jane austen was. after we finished eating we sat on his couch. he put his hand on my cheek and gazed into my green orbs. “you look gorgeous tonight” his voice for so scottish and deep. “thanks” i whispered as his face drew closer to mine. before i knew what was happening, shreks course lips were on mine. his mouth tasted just like how i imagined it, wet and garlicky. before long i was lying on the couch with shrek on top of me. what was about to happen??? Shrek’s gargantuas green hand reached down and grabbed my waist, and began sliding under me. After a bit, he adjusted his position, we stood up and he threw me against the wall, and unzipped my dress. His fluorescent hands caressed every inch of my body, it was amazing! “Your turn” he growled into my ear. I knew what that meant, Darla had told me what to do if this happened. I got down on my knees and undid his belt. I grabbed his lime green (insert word for male genitalia) and put it in my mouth. “What are you doing in my swamp” Shrek moaned, pulling at my hair. As I did it I thought of everything I’d fantasized him doing to me, all those times I jerked off to my gerard way poster. When I was done I stood up. “Are your knees sore.” he growled, “well you're gonna be even sorer once I’m done with you.” I let out a little moan at the thought of Shrek inside of me. But before anything could happen, the door slammed open. shrek scrambled off of me and i sat up. fiona marched into the room and stood in front of shrek. “what are you doing here, i said to meet me at our spot and you just don’t show up, what’s that all about.” she was very angry. “fiona has stop, please, i told you we were over a long time ago.” fiona hadn’t acknowledged my presence in the room yet. “tha sure isn’t what it seemed like last thursday.” she retorted. “fiona i was really drunk then, it meant nothing” shrek defended. “that sure isn’t what you said then,” she had noticed me. “Shrek” she said “who is this, wait no, your that nerd who’s always reading aren’t you. Wow you’ve really lowered your standards haven’t you, or maybe you’ve already slept with everyone at school and now your going for the bottom feeders.” i had heard enough i stood up and grabbed my coat. “No john wait” shrek said grabbing my wrist “it’s not like that at all your-“ “no” i said “you said that i was different, you said that i wasn’t like everyone else, i bet that’s what you tell all of them isn’t it. so what am i? just another one of your pawns. i shouldn’t of come. i should have known that it was all too good to be true. “ i escaped shreks firm grip and ran out the door, mascara streaming down my face. what was i thinking?

Chapter 7  
I slammed my door when I got home. Hank was out with friends and my mom was in her room, so she didn’t see me get home. I fall onto my bed, tears streaming down my face. I lay there for a couple minutes before looking up at my picture of Gerard Way. “Oh Gerard” I said, “you would know what to do”. His green eyes just stared back at me. I looked at my phone, there were tons of texts from Darla. The fact that she didn’t know what had happened just made me even sadder. There was no way I could go to school tomorrow, it would be way too embarrassing. I never wanted to go to school again. Suddenly my mom burst into my room, “John, your brother’s been in a terrible car accident, we have to go to the hospital now!” God as if this night couldn’t get any worse. 

Chapter 8  
“You can come in now,” the doctor said. My mother was already in tears, we both knew that it wasn’t going to be good. We walked into the hospital room, it was silent except for Hank’s heart monitor. His face was bruised, and his leg was in a cast, his breathing seemed steady, he looked almost peaceful. My mother reached out to take Hanks free hand, but he began to cunvulse. The heart monitor started going crazy. Doctors came into the room and we were quickly pushed out. We went back to the waiting room, and sat in silence. Finally a doctor approached us. My mom looked at him hopefully, he just shook his head. “You can come and say goodbye.” He said. My mother broke down crying. I wrapped my arm around her shoulder and began to escort her to the hospital room when suddenly something happened. The radio began playing All Star by Smash Mouth. “Somebody once told me the world is gonna roll me..” “It’s his favorite song” I whispered. I guess the universe just knew. 

Chapter 9  
my mom let me stay home from school for the next week. when i finally came back, it wasn’t very pleasant. people knew about hank, and on top of that they had also heard about me and shrek. there were a lot of stories about what went on after i had left. the most popular one was that shrek really was messing with me, and after i left shrek and fiona has hooked up and now they were an item. as much as i wanted that to be wrong, i knew that it was probably true. as i walked through the halls everyone looked at me with pity, even darla didn’t treat me like normal. i just wish everything could go back to normal. 

Chapter 10  
during math i feel a tap on my shoulder and the guy behind me hands me a note. “please, just let me apologize. behind the bleachers at 3. -Shrek”. I crumpled up the note and threw it on the ground. I didn’t even bother looking back at him, i couldn’t bear it. for the rest of the week shrek kept trying to approach me and pass me notes, i didn’t want his sympathy. after what shrek did i never wanted to see him ever again, it was too humiliating. 

Chapter 11  
it was saturday night, i had survived my first week back. i lay in my bed blasting mcr through my headphones. it was 11:30, and it was raining. “Go to bed!” my mom yelled through the door. I turned off my music, and was about to turn off the lights when i heard a tap at the window. I tried to ignore it, but the tapping continued. i had to see what was going on. i opened my curtains and looked down, standing on my front lawn was shrek. He was holding a giant boombox that looked to be from the 1980s. i opened my window, “go away” i yelled. suddenly i heard it, Allstar by Smash mouth was playing on his boombox. I suddenly broke down in tears. “Please,” Shrek said “John, all those things i said back at my swamp, they were all true. John Green, I love you.” I couldn’t believe what was happening, it was all so overwhelming, so i kind of just stood there in tears. “Please just say something,” he said putting down his boombox. “or at least come down here and kiss me.” I ran downstairs and put the door as fast as i could. i ran out into the rain, my messy brown hair getting drenched. I ran into shreks arms, grabbed his face and kissed his thicc slobbery lips. his giant hands wrapped around my back. Suddenly i pulled away. “wait but what about fiona?” i asked. “what about her?” he pulled me in to kiss him again, i pulled away. “aren’t you two a thing” i ask. “me and fiona?” he kissed me. “John, it’s always been you. I love you.” “i love you too shrek.” i said and pulled him into a kiss. it was perfect his slobbery tongue got all the way in my mouth, it was magical. now i think i finally knew, this is what gerard way would do.


End file.
